The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet   
10:34pm 31/05/2009
  So I haven't posted here in approximately a thousand years or so. But it still exists, as evidenced by the words filling your screen at the present moment.

A whole lot has happened since my last entry. I stumbled off my occultist path and wound up becoming a practicing Buddhist, gave up drugs, got a fortune telling collective off the ground which subsequently crashed into the ground due to interpersonal drama, started going to college again, left the most comfortable job I've ever had, made peace with pretty much everything and everyone I needed to make peace with. and at some point I think I went to go see a movie. It was cool.

And actually, in hindsight, that's really pretty much everything that's happened. Or at least the important bits.

END TRANSMISSION
 
     7 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
06:38pm 01/04/2008
  Like many others, the Discordian school of sorcery makes use of several ritual tools. Chief among these is Eris' wand, a simple yet effective tool to focus one's magical will through. Though possible to purchase, it is reccomended one makes their own wand, though should not be a problem as someone of average intelligence can create on in 5 minutes.

Simply find a tree branch that is thick and diverges at its top into two separate poles. The two poles symbolize the concepts of order and disorder, for sure. Now, tie some form of elastic between the two poles. This represents superstring theory which, according to my understanding, is science talk for "magic!"

Now perform the Wholey Apostolic 5 Star Mega Banishing Ritual to bless your new Ritual weapon, and go forth into the world to spread nonsense and anarchy.

Eris' wand has been found almost everywhere that Erisian thought is present
Here we have a mighty Erisian Sorceror using this tool to hex invaders in his homeland
 
     3 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
12:04pm 29/03/2008
  "I'd say to myself or whoever I was with, 'It'll look good in the biography.' and then I'd go ahead and do whatever daft thing it was - like taking acid on the sacred mesa or doing the bungee-jump, getting the haircut, dancing with the stranger, talking to the crowd - whatever I was 'scared' of mostly, or fancied doing, or never dared before, I'd try it on the basis that it would make for a more interesting read one day"
-Grant Morrison
 
     1 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
03:12pm 22/03/2008
  I'm surprised I lived this long without stumbling upon Irreality.Net.  I believe I've found a new obsession.

Also, I'm in the process I've writing what I hope will turn into a full length novel, setting the hypothetical conclusion of A Handbook of Heresies back even further.  If anyone wants to read the rough pages of the SIege And Investiture of Herbert Pedestrienne as I crank them out, I'd be glad to have some more free criticism. 

Also, I broke up with Paul, got arrested for punching out my brother, and travelled to and back from Texas.  Details to come.

END TRANSMISSION
 
     11 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
12:35pm 11/03/2008
  Well so much for that then....  
     4 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
11:51pm 30/12/2007
  I have recently become horrifically addicted to Red Dwarf, as a friend gave me the first two series. The only prior experience I have with Red Dwarf was when I read the first book (Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers) like ten years ago, and I remember loving it but never being able to find the other books. This show is great, and I'm intensely worried that somehow it stops being so great midway through or something. Someone please tell me this isn't the case?

END TRANSMISSION
 
     2 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
Notes On Traditional Erisian Winter Holiday Nonsense   
02:02am 25/12/2007
  The early Discordians were known, on Afflux, to celebrate the end of another year in which the planet had not been engulfed in a pillar of flame, attacked by aliens, or struck by a meteor. It was a time of reflection on the gifts Our Lady Of Discord provided, and a time of pleading that the sun would not be forever swallowed by the giant demons that lived in the sky.

However, when, in 1976 CE, Eris rented a giant demon alien which came to Earth in a meteor and used a giant pillar of flame to cook the solar system before eating it, it was decided that Afflux occured too soon in the year to be sure of our survival.

Mungday is now used, in addition to honoring Hung Mung, as a marker for "Hey, we're not dead and that's a cool thing. A typical atypical Mungday celebration consists of chanting in Wookie, invoking Cthulhu in the North, A yeti with a Santa hat in the South, Ganesha in the Easy, a trippy green skull in the West, and Ralph Nader , who was born in a manger on Christmas during a snowstorm, in between the spaces that we know.

Reports that Eris has been in contact with batlike beings from beyond space and time this year are exaggerations by an overzealous liberal media and should be ignored. Srsly.
 
     2 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
Pass it on (Stolen from Drjon and Voltronscandide)   
01:50am 25/12/2007
  baby santa  
     2 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
The correct answer is always level nerd nerd with +2 to nerd   
12:47pm 23/12/2007
  I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Bard (4th Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-14

Dexterity-11

Constitution-12

Intelligence-14

Wisdom-17

Charisma-14


Alignment:
Chaotic Good A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way, but he's kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations. He hates it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He follows his own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society. Chaotic good is the best alignment you can be because it combines a good heart with a free spirit. However, chaotic good can be a dangerous alignment because it disrupts the order of society and punishes those who do well for themselves.


Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.


Class:
Bards often serve as negotiators, messengers, scouts, and spies. They love to accompany heroes (and villains) to witness heroic (or villainous) deeds firsthand, since a bard who can tell a story from personal experience earns renown among his fellows. A bard casts arcane spells without any advance preparation, much like a sorcerer. Bards also share some specialized skills with rogues, and their knowledge of item lore is nearly unmatched. A high Charisma score allows a bard to cast high-level spells.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

 
     3 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
10:36am 17/12/2007
  So my roleplaying group wanted to do a Secret Santa thing, but Santa is the tool of the oppressor so I objected. Instead, we're exchanging gifts on Mungday and calling it a Secret Pink Dolphin Ascended Master from Atlantis in a Past Life. Hail Eris.

END TRANSMISSION
 
     2 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
01:42pm 16/12/2007
 

Your Score: Pope


You scored 96.




You are a fellow Pope, Discordian. You obviously graduated into the Fifth and Highest Degree of the PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC, or POEE, a long time ago. Now grab your hashish and get out of here!




Link: The Discordian Test written by DestroyingAngel on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
 
     1 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
02:35pm 15/12/2007
  Jihad Jerry and the Evildoers is a solo proeject by Devo bass player Gerald Casale. The Evildoers happen to mostly consist of the members of Devo. Interesting times.

END TRANSMISSION
 
     illminate the opposition
 
   
01:11pm 12/12/2007
  This is my new favorite thing ever. A claymation telling of Mark Twain's "the Mysterious Stranger".
 
     2 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
High Nerdness Ahoy   
05:56pm 09/12/2007
  So my apologies for not updating in millenia, but I have been engrossed in a project of epic proportion: Hardwired Heroes! Wait, I can explain

I had a desire to run a cyberpunk roleplaying game and passed on Shadowrun because, as Bruce Sterling so succinctly put it "Cyberpunk doesn't have fucking elves.". I started a game of Cyberpunk 2020, which is a game about 13 years from now written in 1990, so a little fudging was done to make it not horrifically out-of-date. After the first session, the group decided to make a move to the Savage Worlds ruleset which is quite good. While converting this world to Savage Worlds and changing the dated parts, I experienced an epiphany, the sort that is accompanied by Heavenly choirs and shit. I was immersing myself in the genre, and was watching Johnny Mnemonic which has the honor of containing Keanu Reeves' absolute worst performance as an actor ever, and also has Ice-T as an anarchist hacker type guy. Near the end of the film, Ice-T is sending out the data about the Big Evil Corporation and why they're so evil and before broadcasting says

"Get your VCRs ready"
How awesome, I thought, and the choirs sang and I realized I shouldn't run a cyberpunk game. I should run a RETRO cyberpunk game.

This game is set 30 years into the future of 1990. People listen to Billy Idol on cassette players as they surf the "Inter-Net", a wired world created by computers. Retro-futures, futures that never happened, have been done before, but in general they are the futures of H.G. Wells and Isaac Asimov, not of William Gibson. Hardwired Heroes! is, to my knowledge, one of if not the first slightly askew looks at the future of the late 20th century.

And I am world building and ecstatic.


END TRANSMISSION
 
     4 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
08:00pm 26/10/2007
  All of us have within our heads certain switches which, if pulled, make something seem cool, no matter how contrary to reality this may actually be. The fact that this music video is from 2005 pulls all of my switches like 3 times each, which is to say this video contains such campy awesomeness that it makes my brain flicker.

 
     1 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
11:30pm 24/10/2007
  I now present to you the most superfluous macros ever. Lolcaptains!

It can be zorch strokin tiem now fast and bulbous?Collapse )

These were all thrown together hastily and shoddilly so as to be done while I still found them funny. Enjoy!

END TRANSMISSION
 
     8 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
On an unrelated note   
10:18pm 21/10/2007
  So how come I was never informed Firefly is the best show ever?  
     3 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
Devo ruminates a bit about it all.   
09:33am 21/10/2007
   
     illminate the opposition
 
   
09:48am 16/10/2007
  If you comment on this post, I will choose seven interests from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are interested in them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so that others can play along.
jrfrench
 asked about

Deadlands: a pen and paper rpg set in the Old West consisting of  wandering gunslingers, riverboat gamblers who happen to steal magic from the devil by beating him in poker, Native American shamans, fire and brimstone preachers, mad scientists, zombies (lots and lots of them, including player characer zombies and a zombie Abraham Lincoln), men-in-black, pirates, kung fu masters and various other forms of weirdness. It was the first pen and paper I ever played and it still has a soft place in my heart.



Anti-Tolkien: an idea that maybe, just maybe, Tolkien was a bad writer from a technical standpoint. In addition, his books are terribly technophobic (and admittedly he lived in the worst time for someone to be endeared to industrialization, and dripping with the Merrie Olde Englad myth (i.e. before the horrors of the modern world, there was a time in England where everyone was happy and frolliced in the pastures and wore flowers in their hair and sat around all day eating pies.  This included the working class, who were not down trodden and freely froliced and ate pies with the rest of the populace.)  I don't like Tolkien all that much I guess.



Hypertime: This is High Weirdness so I'm going to let the wikipedia explain. "The basic premise of the idea was summed up by writer Mark Waid as, "It's all true." It presumes that all of the stories ever told about (for example) Superman are equally valid stories. Despite overt contradictions between the versions of the character (and his adventures, supporting characters, and setting) that appeared in the late 1930s and 1940s comics by Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel, portrayed by George Reeves in the 1950s TV series, depicted in 1960s and 1970s comics drawn by Kurt Schaffenberger or Curt Swan, portrayed by Christopher Reeve in the 1978 movie and its sequels, written and illustrated by John Byrne in the late 1980s, portrayed by Dean Cain in the 1990s TV series Lois and Clark, portrayed by Tom Welling in the 2000s TV series Smallville, or portrayed by Brandon Routh in the 2006 movie, no one of these versions supersedes any other as canon. This was a repudiation of the prevailing approach to continuity in superhero comics, in which only the currently-used version is considered valid, rendering prior stories which are inconsistent with this continuity officially apocryphal.

As it appears within comics stories themselves, Hypertime is a superdimensional construct which—under very limited circumstances (prescribed by editors in the real world, and by various in-story rules within the DC Universe itself)— can allow versions of characters from one continuity to interact with versions from another. For example, in The Kingdom, a version of Superman extrapolated into the future briefly encounters the Siegel/Shuster version.

Hypertime works like this: the main, or "official" timeline is like a river, with a nearly infinite number of distributaries—alternate timelines— branching off. Most of the time, these alternate timelines go off on their own and never intersect with the main timeline. On occasion, the branches return, feeding back into the main timeline - sometimes permanently, sometimes temporarily. Thus, history can sometimes change momentarily and then change back (or not). If characters from a very different Hypertimeline move into our own, this accelerates the process, causing more noticeable (but shorter) changes to the timeline (for example when the Titans were visited by their counterparts from The Kingdom, Jesse Quick was briefly replaced by a version who had taken her mother's Liberty Belle identity)"
This is so silly and fanboyish that I must love it. I must.

The Great Sun Jester: Either a song Michael Moorcock wrote about his friend who died of a drug overdose, which was then recorded by Blue Oyster Cult, or one of my Discordian aliases. It's a good song and a good alias so there you go.

Attila the Stockbroker: A 50 year old mandolin player who opened at punk shows in 1980s England by reading poetry and now performs either on his own or with his band Barnstormer. I find the stuff he comes out with to be stellar.

Svejk: Svejk, first name Josef, is the protagonist of a Czech novel from the early 20th century, the Good Soldier Svejk and his Fortunes in the World War, about how to dismantle the army from the inside. During the course of the novel, Svejk joins the Hungarian forces in World War I, and while proclaiming his deep love for the empire and its Emperor, causes so much discord amongst his own forces that he would be court-martialed were he not obviously meaning well. The term svejking has become part of Czech parlance and refers to someone playing dumb, with politicians frequently accusing eachother of svejking around. In addition, along the way he's become the national hero of the Czech Republic and you cannot throw a rock there without hitting some sort of Zvejk restaurant, bust, marionette, etc. Josef Svejk is one of the best agents of chaos and discord from the 20th century, or any century, and it's a shame most English speakers have never even heard of him.

Jaroslav Hasek: The young anarchist who wrote the Good Solider Svejk. Enough said.
 
     10 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition
 
   
11:42am 15/10/2007
  So Mr. Flynn and I have thought up the most wonderful pen and paper rpg setting (excepting Over the Edge.)
two words: Steampunk Ghostbusters.

Picture a group of Victorians with tesla coils strapped to their backs using phlogiston and ether to hunt the supernatural. I want to run this so badly.
 
     4 previous illuminator(s) - illminate the opposition