The Freelance Zenarchist (lunaticxfringe) wrote,
The Freelance Zenarchist

Notes On Traditional Erisian Winter Holiday Nonsense

The early Discordians were known, on Afflux, to celebrate the end of another year in which the planet had not been engulfed in a pillar of flame, attacked by aliens, or struck by a meteor. It was a time of reflection on the gifts Our Lady Of Discord provided, and a time of pleading that the sun would not be forever swallowed by the giant demons that lived in the sky.

However, when, in 1976 CE, Eris rented a giant demon alien which came to Earth in a meteor and used a giant pillar of flame to cook the solar system before eating it, it was decided that Afflux occured too soon in the year to be sure of our survival.

Mungday is now used, in addition to honoring Hung Mung, as a marker for "Hey, we're not dead and that's a cool thing. A typical atypical Mungday celebration consists of chanting in Wookie, invoking Cthulhu in the North, A yeti with a Santa hat in the South, Ganesha in the Easy, a trippy green skull in the West, and Ralph Nader , who was born in a manger on Christmas during a snowstorm, in between the spaces that we know.

Reports that Eris has been in contact with batlike beings from beyond space and time this year are exaggerations by an overzealous liberal media and should be ignored. Srsly.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
You're right, it's not the bats from outer space we should be concerned with. We have enough to worry about with the dreaded racoon and squirrel alliance threatening to upset the delicate balance of surburanature. Some try to say it's all rumors, but I heard it directly from a crow who had it on good authority from several house cats and a smart dog. Those squirrels are crafty enough on their own! Can you imagine if they finally hammer out their differences with the racoons? We're doomed! Doomed I tell ya! Forget about picnics and backyard barbecues! We've got to start organizing!
From what I've heard, several suburbs have already fallen prey. Ah well, at least we have the technology to ensure squirrels never get our bird seed.